FRANK "THE DEHYDRATOR" SAMPSON

Name: Frank "The Dehydrator" Sampson
Occupation: Masturbationist / Security Guard

TED "FRANK" ULTRAHATS

When you've got the best gig in the world, you soak that shit up in chicken broth and feed it back to society.

Name: Ted "Frank" Ultrahats
Occupation: Nicest Guy On Earth / Dentist