KHAN DIMITRIUS

We've been through so much for the past 80 years. Now, we have the chance we've been looking for. Onward, frightened cattle! Onward! I need RIBS!!

Name: Khan Dimitrius
Occupation: U.S. Costal Guard and Employee of the Month at Bob's Discount Furniture

EINSTEIN Q. REMBRANDT

Intelligence often belies sincerity, and we can all relate to that shit, right fellas?

Name: Einstein Q. Rembrandt
Occupation: Former U.S. President and Former Employee at Bob's D.F. (Discount Furniture)